99p Me

When Morgan Spurlock decided to eat and drink only McDonalds for a month, it was quite clear it was not going to do his body any good. You didn’t need experts to tell you that. Well my friends and I decided to do something in the same vein. Thankfully it was not for a whole month. In fact only an evening. It was to:

Visit the six Wetherspoons in the centre of Birmingham and only drink a pint of their credit crisis saving, 99p a pint: Greene King IPA!

Why did we do it, you may ask? [We’re wondering that now] It was to see if it was possible to have a cheap pub crawl around the city drinking real ale, drinking a popular (apparent) quality brand. With three of us on this mission, costing £2.97 each round, in total spending £5.94, it was clear this would be a wallet relieving pub crawl, compared to the ones we would normally go on. Whether we would be in a fit and healthy state after remained to be seen.

Our first port of call was [to some] the stomach churning Square Peg on Corporation Street. So it began: “three pints of IPA”. That was a phrase we all rarely said in the past! We had a rule that as the beer only costs 99p we would not ask for a top up and to our surprise the first pint we all got was very good. In fact as Greene King IPA goes it was pleasant. That’s not saying much but as the pub gets so much stick for poor quality ale it has to be noted. The only thing that let it down was a rude member of staff; not to us but we heard what he said.

Next on to the Briar Rose, Bennetts Hill; a regular in the Good Beer Guide and a ’Spoons that can have good guest ales on. Sadly we weren’t going to try any. That night they were down in guests and one has to question whether that is because so many people are drinking IPA, that there guest ales suffer. Perhaps too cheap is too much?! The IPA served to us had varied head sizes which was quite strange because they were not served through sparklers and tasted slightly thin. Sparkler or not sparkler? Always a debate!

The Wetherspoons in Paradise Forum [or not so paradise] is always a place that is too cold. Cold in pub and slightly cold in beer temperature. It was no different this visit. Our IPAs were poured through a sparkler this time so they had a nice creamy head which was retained all the way down. Pulled through a sparkler the beer lost something of its already minimal flavour but it wasn’t as thin as the previous pint so again comes back the sparkler debate!

By this point already we were already tiring. Our stomachs were starting to feel heavy. There was only a certain amount of sweet, malty, yet not intense IPA we could take. Things got no better when we got to the Lloyds No.1, Solomon Cutler on Broad Street. It was surprising we even got in but not surprising to find out that the IPAs were all cold (too cold) with large heads. The coldness seemed to have sapped out what little flavour it had. With only one guest and loud music in a pub that was quite empty, this was a sorry place.

Things were starting to look up at the next ’Spoons, the Figure of Eight, just further along from Lloyds. Due to ‘exceptional demand’ (or so they said) there was no IPA! We rejoiced and looked excitedly at the guest ales. Sadly our spirits diminished when we found out that they were selling Marstons Pedigree at 99p instead. In the spirit of our quest we had to have this. As with our past beers they were all of good quality; perfect clarity, good head retention, tasting as they should. Yet this was the issue. It is just malty water. Pedigree through and through [Although Nigel is always telling me what a wonderful beer it was in the 70’s and 80’s]. This mixed with our IPAs, we were starting to wane.

The end was now in sight as we headed for the latest ’Spoons on the scene: The Dragon, Hurst Street. We had had enough of IPA at this point (in fact before this) but we had to finish. I am glad we had this IPA because it was better than most of what we had. It was Greene King IPA as it should be. It’s a shame that we just had just drunk IPA all night, because as we finally got round to finishing them one of the trio was ill. The other two did not feel well the next day either. This I am not blaming down to too much ale. We would normally have a night out drinking more varied and stronger ales. It was the fault of Greene King IPA, 3.6% at 99p a pint.

What have we learnt though?
It is too easy for me to say “don’t drink IPA!” I personally wouldn’t but if you actually like it, then fair dues. Why you drink and like it, is a point of consideration. Is it because it’s cheap and a brand that so many people know?! This is the problem and the lesson that we learnt. It is not always the best to go for the cheapest ale [in fact all alcohol; shame on you supermarkets!] when you can have something that has varied flavours, great taste and quality at a price more than IPA. ’Spoons are cheap at the best of times and have some interesting guest ales so the price would only be a little more! You can’t beat going on a crawl and trying something different. In the end difference is what makes ale and pubs great and something that should be encouraged and promoted everywhere. Sadly, as we found out, drinking Greene King IPA at 99p a pint, for a whole night, does not help at all!

By Al Coholic, Chris Packet & Carl Ling